Marmaduke will only allow the men from the electric company to read the meter if they bring along something he can fuck.

Marmaduke is angrily demanding that his owner-man throw him a larger fetching-stick.

NOTE FROM JOE MATHLETE: Sorry, everybody... Imaginary Dental School has been ridiculously stressful lately (I lost my little tiny mirror on a stick thing, and they only give you one of those per semester), and I'm afraid I just don't have enough energy to explain the January 16 2007 edition of Marmaduke.

Fortunately, Marmaduke's owner-lady is doing a reasonable job of shedding some light on today's installment.

Marmaduke is exhibiting early symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.

Marmaduke's owner-man changes the plot of a fairy tale to appeal more to the interests of his dog. Marmaduke's owner-girl calls her father out on his revisions, perturbed that he cares more about pleasing Marmaduke than his own child. In Owner-Man's defense, Owner-Girl is infinitely less likely and/or able to maim Owner-Man if she is upset about something trivial and arbitrary.

Marmaduke wants more out of life and has decided to better himself.

Marmaduke decided to take a nap on the couch that his owner-man was napping on, and as there is room for only one of them, Owner-Man obviously had to go. Owner-Girl pulls out a pop-culture reference seven years past its prime in an attempt to lighten the mood and lessen her father's embarrassment at once again being on the receiving end of domestic abuse from a house pet.

Marmaduke is disregarding last night's heavy snow and destroying his fat, elderly neighbor's lawn with his powerful forelegs and indiscriminate rage. His fat, elderly neighbor risks certain death by daring to suggest that Marmaduke channel his berserk, spiteful fury into helping him shovel his walkway.

Marmaduke and his owner-man are snoring discordantly. Owner-lady is upset that their harmonies are off, but is fine with the fact that a humongous dog is somn-frottaging her husband.

Marmaduke sneezed so hard his doghouse collapsed, severely injuring him. His owner-lady gawks and issues a dry understatement instead of offering any help.