Special Friday "Two-For" (don't freak out)

Marmaduke got a new cell phone, wants some maple syrup on his breakfast, and is an asshole.

Marmaduke is confronted by a large swarm of his illegitimate children while on a walk. His owner-man tries to help him save face in front of a couple of hat-wearing bystanders, painting him as an idolized superstar rather than the sex addict who refuses to pay child support he really is.

Marmaduke swallowed Sarah's wristwatch and he's sick to his stomach. Marmaduke's owner-girl makes a watch-related pun so asinine it takes at least three months off of my life every time I read it.

(side note-- I initially didn't notice the pun and thought Owner-Girl was actually saying "sick." Such is Marmaduke's patented brand of "phantom humor" that today's strip would have been no more or no less funny than any other had that been the case)