Marmaduke is being arrested by two police officers, one of whom has to be reminded to give suspects their Miranda warning. Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson's refusal to settle on a single spelling of the exclamation "woof" begins to border on infuriating.

Marmaduke used to date a hot dog vender. It did not end well, and his difficulty letting go is bordering on illegal.

Marmaduke's fat, elderly neighbor-man offers a nonsensical and asinine aphorism regarding Marmaduke's inexplicably misspelled onomatopoeias. Marmaduke may or may not have his balls caught in a sprinklerhead.

Marmaduke prefers bludgeoning to most other forms of communication.

Marmaduke is going to drink two bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine and deflower a teenage Afghan Hound.