Marmaduke destroyed his owner-family's mailbox (and probably a number of other things) during his afternoon walk with his owner-man. Owner-Man makes light of the mailbox situation to his wife, yet another example of how the bulk of their communication is a numb, disconnected and empty series of weak jokes and ironic understatements deployed in order to distance themselves from the horror and futility of spending their lives as the prisoner-slaves of their powerful, self-serving ogre of a dog.

Capitalism strikes again: T-SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE

Three shirt designs, a variety of colors, choice of swears or no swears, high-quality Hanes cotton blends, and remember: ALL SHIRTS ORDERED BY DECEMBER 12 WILL SHIP IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS. I think that about covers it.


Click here to get funky (with commerce)

T-Shirts: TOTALLY AVAILABLE WEDNESDAY!

They would be here today but Paypal and html are once again conspiring against me (so, "technical difficulties").

HOWEVER, I can announce with astonishing certainty the following:

- There will be three shirt designs for sale, each one radder than the last

- Each shirt comes in three different color schemes (no more "white ink on black and to hell with you if you're not down with that")

- Some of the shirts contain absolutely no cuss words whatsoever, meaning you will be able to wear them in front of your grandpa without offending him (though he may find it somewhat confusing)

- Each shirt is available in a "girly tee" design, perfect for both ladies and skinny dudes with breasts

- Those of you festive enough to order your shirts by WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12 will receive your shirt just in time for Christmas

Tune in tomorrow to get your commerce on, as well as witness the unveiling of the secret (and super-cool) third shirt design. I'll give you a hint: it's about Marmaduke.

Marmaduke fetched his owner-man's newspaper but mangled it badly in the process. Realizing that his gigantic dog not only shredded his paper but stole the free sample of ecstasy included within, Owner-Man chastises Marmaduke, who responds by grinning widely, staring blankly into the middle distance and thinking about how he loves things that make him happy.

Guess who has a bootleg copy of Photoshop?