Thursday, July 19, 2007

Marmaduke is sleeping on the laps of an elderly couple, each of whom assumed the beast was responsible for the well-being of the other. Octogenerian Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson is here infusing his typical material (large selfish dog, puzzling miss-or-miss jokes masquerading as slice-of-lifeisms (and vice-versa), parade of shamefully lazy and uncredited ghost-artists) with a "write what you know"-style personal slant (early-stage dementia).

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Marmaduke will eat anyone who tries to enter his home without saying something Dottie has them memorize, including hastily-sketched women whose clothes aren't all the way shaded in.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Marmaduke is going to eat some donuts. His owner-lady somehow does not realize this was a foregone conclusion the moment they were brought into the house, and it may end up costing her her life.

Whoever taught visual perspective to the ghost-artist Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson gave a handful of nickels and penny-candy to draw today's strip should be burned at the stake.

Monday, July 16, 2007

special "Choose Your Own Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke" edition

Marmaduke (bought / stole / is borrowing) five lollipops from a store called the Candy Box to (eat / sell on the black market / give to several of his bastard children in lieu of child support). A concerned and tie-wearing candy salesman places a phone call to a Mrs. Winslow, who is (his supervisor at the candy store / a left-wing candy conservation lobbyist in Washington / Marmaduke's owner-lady, whose surname name I have been unaware of for the thirteen months or so I've been amusing myself with this bullshit), referring to the lollipops as "suckers" because (it is the standard industry term / he is mildly retarded / octogenarian Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson refuses to adjust his comic strip's vocabulary to reflect that it is no longer the 1940s).

T-Shirts now sold out like crazy

You snooze, you don't win. Those of you who did not snooze, expect your confirmation emails and further instructions within the next day or two.

Up next: embroidered napkins? God, I hope not.