Sorry to keep you hanging or whatever. I've actually been sick for the past few days, which is like a vacation but with throw-ups. Now that I'm all out of throw-ups, I've got an exciting announcement for all you Marmaduke Explanation Enthusiasts out there: the (very short) return of MARMADUKE IS AN ASSHOLE t-shirts. Get excited! Now!
Here's the deal: Turns out I still have a few of these left. They're not doing anyone any good just sitting around my shanty in a box. Tune in tomorrow afternoon for your last-ever chance to purchase a high-quality Hanes cotton blend, white-ink on black fabric (so, basically the opposite of that design up there) t-shirt that will have friends, family and neighbors alike saying "hey, there's a cuss word on your shirt!" When they're gone, they are so gone.
Oh, also, I might as well do what I'm supposed to be doing here, huh?
Marmaduke's thirst for blood ruins another little league game.