Marmaduke is being arrested by two police officers, one of whom has to be reminded to give suspects their Miranda warning. Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson's refusal to settle on a single spelling of the exclamation "woof" begins to border on infuriating.

Marmaduke used to date a hot dog vender. It did not end well, and his difficulty letting go is bordering on illegal.

Marmaduke's fat, elderly neighbor-man offers a nonsensical and asinine aphorism regarding Marmaduke's inexplicably misspelled onomatopoeias. Marmaduke may or may not have his balls caught in a sprinklerhead.

Marmaduke prefers bludgeoning to most other forms of communication.

Marmaduke is going to drink two bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine and deflower a teenage Afghan Hound.

Marmaduke has returned to normal (read: not being funny or making a lot of sense) after yesterday's little scare. This installment seems to feature Owner-Man explaining a bank robbery escape plan to Marmaduke while checking under the beast's jowls for spare change.

Marmaduke isn't given allowance by his-- wait, holy shit, today's Marmaduke is actually kind of funny. What the fuck is going on here.

Marmaduke stole something. His owner-lady is so distressed that she dials a telephone upside-down.

Marmaduke hit his owner-man with a chain to tell him it's time for a 4 AM walk. Owner-Man offers up a fanciful yet impractical alternative that will likely result in Marmaduke hitting him with the chain again.

Marmaduke's owner-lady found a membership certificate to something called the "Bone of the Month Club" in the mail and naturally assumed it was Marmaduke's. In reality, the certificate was made by Marmaduke and intended for her, a relatively cute and clever new tactic in his never-ending quest to subtly communicate to her, in the only way he knows how, that he wants to fuck her.