Marmaduke responds to a jug-eared, clap-happy dipshit's entreaty to fetch a stick with either a massive yawn (which is how he signifies his boredom) or a blood-curdling scream (which is how he pumps himself up for a round of stick-fetching). Marmaduke's owner-man responds to said jug-eared, clap-happy dipshit's entreaty with a hint regarding the futility of the ridiculous little man's enthusiasm.

Marmaduke is trying to decorate his owner-family's Christmas tree with a bunch of his dog bullshit. Owner-Lady declines his "help" with as much diplomacy as she can muster.

Marmaduke is a frotteur.

Marmaduke is an asshole.

Marmaduke receives oversized Christmas cards from the marketing arms of Woofs, Barfoo, and several other popular dog food conglomerates every year (in addition to numerous other seasonal greetings from unknown, possibly non-corporate acquaintances). He then displays said cards on the outside of his doghouse, primarily to fuck with his owner-couple, who are virtually friendless after years of Marmaduke's arbitrary rampages.

Marmaduke is plotting a bit of quaint, 1940s-level yuletide date rape.

Marmaduke, like Michael Jackson and Michelle Tanner before him, has vastly eclipsed the other members of his family in terms of popularity.

Marmaduke has responded to his owner-lady's poultry-based holiday dinner menu with threats of Hitchcockian animal-rights activism. Owner-Lady regrets her candor.

For the record

First off, I didn't actually quit yet. Sorry for any confusion.

If anyone clicked the link in this blog entry and got the little dancing monster "fuck you and die" page, that wasn't my doing. Because he was apparently getting harassed, the blogger guy did some tricky internet things I don't understand, and the original URL from his email that I posted here redirected you to that thing.

I've since made the link point somewhere else. Not to the blogger guy's blog, because it seems 100% reasonable he'd make it so you go to the little dancing monster "fuck you and die" page again (or someplace even worse, like the stretchy butthole website or the picture of the Japanese lady pooping in her bathtub). This would be well within both his rights and abilities, so I made the link not go to his blog anymore, and therefore not to the LDM/FYAD page. I don't know why you'd want to click it after reading this, but it's your life.

Updates over the next week or two may be somewhat sporadic, as I have recently decided to become a dentist.

Beats,

Joe Mathlete

Marmaduke (the dog) inspires enthusiastic love and devotion from cute little puppies. As opposed to Marmaduke (the comic strip), which inspires conceptual internet mockery from nerdy college dropouts.