Friday, April 20, 2007

Marmaduke's attempt to embody a cliche ended in injury, embarassment, and a dead bee.

Son of a bitch, he's right

From:Jason Quinn
To:Joe Mathlete
Subject: Marmaduke for April 19, 2007
Here's my thoughts on today's cartoon:

1) Sport parachutists no longer use round parachutes and have not for about thirty years
2) The military does use round parachutes, but their uniforms do not resemble jogging suits
3) Had the man landed in the tree, the canopy would have been caught in the branches above him
4) That cell phone is friggin' huge
5) Although it may not be that big since given the relative sizes of man and dog, the man is clearly a midget

Conclusion: Marmaduke has trapped a midget jogger up a tree. Having witnessed Marmaduke chase a military paratrooper up the tree and devour him only moments before, the jogger is using the last moments of his life to call his therapist on his vintage Motorola Dynatac cell phone.
Well I'll be damned.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Marmaduke gleefully roams free throughout the streets, having long ago cowed the weak-willed employees of his city's corrupt and impotent Animal Control Center into cowardly, passive subservience.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Marmaduke is digging up the hobo he killed last autumn, which his owner-girl confuses with banking.

Sorry I only did that one post last week

But holy christ that shit made me angry.