Friday, October 30, 2009

This bears mentioning

I'm still explaining Marmaduke, quite regularly. Today this happened and I figured I ought to share.

Here's a link to the new Marmaduke Explained archive again, and here's a way to find a lot of the other stuff I'm writing at Also you can just google "Joe Mathlete" any old time you want and see what pops up. I've done it before, it's neat. You should try it with your own name, too.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Marmaduke Explained running every Monday Wednesday and Friday

For the time being at least. On, a website on the internet. Check 'em out at; if you click on the tag ("Marmaduke Explained") on any given post you can get to all the previous ones pretty easily.

I've only been doing them a few weeks there and already I've hit my first "just a bunch of all-caps swearing at Brad Anderson" wall. C'est la 'duke.

Monday, May 04, 2009

Marmaduke Explained lives.

Lookit lookit lookit the first post over here at I'm totally doing these on a regular basis again. They've got RSS feeds and other web two point oh things I honest to god still don't understand, if that makes it easier on you. Also, like I said in my last post I'm writing other stuff (this week is Funniest British and/or Jewish Comedy and/or Music Trios Week, for some reason. I'm also reviewing The Godfather Part III - again, for some reason).

I'm probably one step closer to getting sued. Break out the champagne!

Thursday, April 23, 2009 - a few words about a thing/future of Marmaduke Explained


I'm writing for a new website, like on an everyday-type basis. It's called and it's based out of Houston, my hometown. They've got most of my stuff in the "Time Suck" section, on account it's SO ADDICTIVE IT LITERALLY SUCKS AWAY YOUR SPARE TIME LIKE A VAMPIRE. So far it's a couple of crudely-drawn comic strips, "Sauce Policy" and "Dating is Hard," as well as a work in a similar vein to my Great American Blog stuff. Some highlights:

Now: I know a lot of you never cared too much about the other stuff I've done, and that's cool; I always thought it was silly when the host on SNL wanted to sing a song, regardless of their background or interests or whatever. I mention this here rather than on my other blog for three reasons:

1. It stands to reason this blog just gets more traffic, even when it hasn't been updated in forever (which is often lately)
2. I did mention it on my other blog, in more depth
3. Starting sometime in the next few weeks, I will be doing Joe Mathlete Explains Today's Marmaduke on 29-95 on a regular basis OH SNAP ASHTON!

Still working out some specifics, but yes, after over a year I will be back on a regular schedule explaining Marmaduke. Stay "tuned" for more information; I'll let you know what I know when I know it. For now, if you'd like to read some more in-depth thoughts about the new site, please read 'em here.


Joe Mathlete

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Marmaduke's owner-man can justify it however he wants, but there is only one explanation: he lets Marmaduke dig because he is a big pussy.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Marmaduke tipped a cab driver with a bone. But presumably he paid the actual fare with cash, which honestly seems much weirder to me...

Sometimes I find myself thinking about these things for too long and it's never good for my health.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson has a dim awareness that something significant is going on in the news lately with economics, and he might as well try to write a comic strip about it.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Marmaduke is so big and humongous, it would take a whole entire tow truck just to pull him off the sofa!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Marmaduke is about to sodomize a banker into signing his owner-man's loan papers.

And yes, before I get any emails, Marmaduke will probably eat the banker after he sodomizes him. What else would he do?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Marmaduke vomited the contents of a child's toybox and a couple of femurs onto an old lady.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Taaaaaaaake... Onnnnnn... Meeeeeee...

Monday, March 16, 2009

Marmaduke is yellow on Sundays and brown the rest of the week.

(I don't read the Sunday Marmadukes very often, and with good reason. I don't know what it is but the dialogue reads like it was translated from some another language. A CONFLICT OVER WHO IS THE BOSS isn't exactly A WINNER IS YOU or ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, but I think a copyeditor couldn't hurt here. Also maybe somebody to come up with a joke every now and then.)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Marmaduke is dirty and neither his owner-man nor his owner-lady wants to wash him, both preferring to wash their minivan instead. As I personally would rather wash a car than any large dog, and as this scenario thusly seems to amount to little more than a mundane slice of life, I am concluding that today's Marmaduke has been ghostwritten by American Splendor creator Harvey Pekar, slumming it and floundering accordingly.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Marmaduke is colored by a lazy hack.

And, for that matter, written by a lazy hack.

And drawn by what appears to me to be a rotating team of lazy hacks.

Let me start over: Marmaduke is colored by an industry professional performing at precisely the appropriate level his assignment calls for.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Marmaduke broke his owner-family's heater in order to lure them into his cozy rapecabin (like a doghouse but with a chimney, and rape).

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Marmaduke misses his testicles.

Monday, March 09, 2009

1. Marmaduke has been given a pet frog, despite being a pet himself.
2. Marmaduke takes this pet frog on walks, complete with tiny collar and leash.
3. These walks are conducted when Marmaduke himself is taken for a walk (by his owner-man).
4. As a frog travels via hopping (rather than walking), Marmaduke is seen hopping (rather than walking) during this particular walk/hop, most likely to mimic his pet's movement rather than out of necessity.
5. Marmaduke's owner-man is seen hopping as well, despite the fact that such hopping is embarrassing (explicitly) and unnecessary/inconvenient (implicitly).
6. Marmaduke is now published in color, even on weekdays.

All of this is absurd.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Marmaduke has passed out from huffing a carbon monoxide leak.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Sperm joke.