Marmaduke prefers bludgeoning to most other forms of communication.

Marmaduke is going to drink two bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine and deflower a teenage Afghan Hound.

Marmaduke has returned to normal (read: not being funny or making a lot of sense) after yesterday's little scare. This installment seems to feature Owner-Man explaining a bank robbery escape plan to Marmaduke while checking under the beast's jowls for spare change.

Marmaduke isn't given allowance by his-- wait, holy shit, today's Marmaduke is actually kind of funny. What the fuck is going on here.

Marmaduke stole something. His owner-lady is so distressed that she dials a telephone upside-down.

Marmaduke hit his owner-man with a chain to tell him it's time for a 4 AM walk. Owner-Man offers up a fanciful yet impractical alternative that will likely result in Marmaduke hitting him with the chain again.

Marmaduke's owner-lady found a membership certificate to something called the "Bone of the Month Club" in the mail and naturally assumed it was Marmaduke's. In reality, the certificate was made by Marmaduke and intended for her, a relatively cute and clever new tactic in his never-ending quest to subtly communicate to her, in the only way he knows how, that he wants to fuck her.

Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson is proving he is still relevant in the 21st century by tempering his usual blend of phantom humor, obtuse logic and shit-blisteringly shameless recycling with a reference to a hit television program of which he possesses a vague awareness.

Marmaduke is showing his owner-man a clock. Owner-Man for some reason interprets this gesture to mean that Marmaduke wants to go on a walk when in fact Marmaduke is just bragging that he has a new clock.

Marmaduke's obsessive-compulsive disorder is mistaken by his owner-man as athletic ambition.