Marmaduke's fat, elderly neighbor man poisoned Marmaduke and several other dogs.

Also: JESUS CHRIST BRAD ANDERSON, GROW SOME SHAME.

Marmaduke's fat, elderly neighbor asks Marmaduke why he is stealing his hose in order to fill a bucket with water. Obviously it's because he's an asshole. What I want to know is, why is Marmaduke filling a bucket with water? Just so he can have a reason to steal a hose and mildly annoy somebody?

Marmaduke is losing his edge.

Marmaduke is unpacking the groceries the way Marmaduke wants to unpack the groceries.

Marmaduke likes to pack as much fun as possible into the last few days of summer.

Just curious: JOE MATHLETE EXPLAINS TODAY'S BETTY

Apparently this is a comic strip in newspapers nowadays. It's about a woman named Betty. Let's see how this goes.

Betty's son likes "ska-punk," but does not like "emo." Betty patronizes him until he is convinced to let her buy him an inexpensive shirt.

Marmaduke's owner-man is dying.

Marmaduke's owner-lady is trying to impress a veterinarian's office by claiming her dog has both highly discerning medical requirements and the ability to read. Meanwhile, Marmaduke has mistaken a diploma for some food.

Marmaduke eats more dog food than his owner-family can reasonably afford.

Marmaduke's owner lady made him so horny working out to her Jane Fonda tape that it plum tuckered him out. He is still going to fuck the shit out of her, but may need a nap first.

Marmaduke does not pay attention to cyclical shifts in weather patterns accompanying the changing seasons because he is a dog.