Marmaduke's owner-lady is trying to impress a veterinarian's office by claiming her dog has both highly discerning medical requirements and the ability to read. Meanwhile, Marmaduke has mistaken a diploma for some food.

Marmaduke eats more dog food than his owner-family can reasonably afford.

Marmaduke's owner lady made him so horny working out to her Jane Fonda tape that it plum tuckered him out. He is still going to fuck the shit out of her, but may need a nap first.

Marmaduke does not pay attention to cyclical shifts in weather patterns accompanying the changing seasons because he is a dog.

Marmaduke's owner-man is Jesus Christ.

Seven summers pass / The cherry orchard beckons / Destiny persuades

Marmaduke suffers from narcolepsy, which his owner-girl tries to pass off to a rotund houseguest as affection.

Marmaduke can't wait for football season.

Marmaduke is winning at obedience school.

Marmaduke is dying. A carnival psychic demonstrates her knowledge of animal folklore while failing to comfort him.