SPECIAL THREE-PART INSTALLMENT:

I) Marmaduke stole Owner-Girl's jump rope (causation: Marmaduke is greedy and spiteful)

II) Marmaduke does not know how to properly operate a jump rope (causation: Marmaduke is a dog)

III) Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson refers to jump ropes as "skip ropes" (causation: Brad Anderson has not paid attention to current parlance since 1948)

Marmaduke is incapable of being passive-aggressive.

Marmaduke tries and fails to re-ignite the flame of passion in his relationship with his distant, careerist owner-man.

Marmaduke is a l33t h4x0r.

Marmaduke considers improving his golf game more important than his owner-lady's social life. Owner-Lady disagrees, but her request for Marmaduke to accommodate her and her friend proves futile.

Marmaduke's paradoxical facial expression fills his owners with a sense of dread.

Marmaduke likes to let the neighborhood kids use his indoor pool. It is possible that Marmaduke's doghouse defies the laws of physics and has a larger interior than exterior, or has a trap door that leads to a large underground cavern/living space, but most likely Marmaduke just has a teeny tiny pool and the neighborhood kids have low thresholds for entertainment.

Marmaduke lives in a world where you can telephone God via a special hotline.

Marmaduke has a really stupid addiction.

Marmaduke is chasing a squirrel while being walked by his owner-man, who is at the mercy of both an enormous, inconsiderate great dane and either an absurdly short leash or very poorly rendered perspective. Owner Man makes an asinine request that is unlikely to be granted.