Marmaduke is an asshole.

Marmaduke's owner-girl thinks he has the lawn mower confused with the vacuum cleaner. In reality, Marmaduke has the lawn mower confused with a serial rapist.

Marmaduke's owner-man mistakes him for the neighborhood trash can inspector.

Marmaduke is trying to let his owner-lady know that he wants to fuck her. His innuendo may seem blunt and crude, but in his defense, he is a dog.

Marmaduke frightened a little boy named Jeremy simply by playfully growling at him, and having jaws large and powerful enough to snap a little boy's torso in half.

Marmaduke is being defended by his owner-lady for a very drawn-out yawn, the force and/or volume of which caused his extremely hungover owner-man a great deal of physical pain.

Marmaduke is trying to eat his pathetically naive owner-girl's lunch.

Marmaduke becomes a whirling dervish of spinning tail and gratuitous onomatopoeia when eating dinner. His owner-girl's androgynous friend wandered too close to the grisly scene, and his or her ass paid a hefty price.

Marmaduke attempts to trade his owner-girl his dog biscuit for her cookie, but she isn't having any of it, even though Marmaduke could probably just take the cookie if he wanted to and eat her for good measure (since, as today's strip clearly demonstrates by giving us a close-up of Marmaduke and girl next to each other, he is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HUMONGOUS).

Marmaduke displays an absurdly stuck-up and finicky type of brand loyalty when chasing cars.