Sperm joke.

Marmaduke is dead.

Marmaduke's owner-man offers up a fatalistic zen-like aphorism on the futility of 21st century life that doubles as an explanation of his huge stupid dog's behavior.

Marmaduke is bi-curious. And not the least bit shy about it.

Marmaduke is an asshole.

So I just moved a few weeks ago. I'm still unpacking and settling in, and this evening I asked my roommate what I should work on. She said "why don't you do Marmaduke again?" and I realized I hadn't updated this blog since just after we moved. I look at today's strip, hoping I'd be inspired to unleash some deliciously clever wit on Brad Anderson's latest brainfart. Instead I find the above cartoon, and am forced to once again revert to the closest thing to a catchphrase I have authored in my silly little life.

My roommate, to her credit, discouraged me from taking the easy way out, but when asked what the hell else I could possibly say about this comic strip (without just mentioning my last entry and writing about vomit), she was at a similar loss and could only offer up "I don't know... Something about TV trays?"

So yeah. Marmaduke is an asshole.

Marmaduke is doing a blind taste test. Marmaduke's owner-family refuses to buy him dog food that isn't made from vomit, which finally explains to me exactly why he's such an asshole.

In light of this discovery, I may not need to ever update this blog again.

Marmaduke is forcibly dry-humping his owner-man. Marmaduke's attention-starved owner-lady blathers something about eating some weird kind of pie, but Marmaduke's perturbed/sassy glance towards the reader indicates that he cares infinitely less about her eating habits than about dry-humping.

Marmaduke, according to his owner-man, chug-a-lugged (sic) his food so fast he got hiccups (also colloquially referred to as "whif-ups," or sometimes "whuf-ups"). For some reason Marmaduke's food dish has been placed upon a teeny little table. His owner-lady peers out from behind a wall that disappears into her dog's hindquarters. None of this counts as a proper joke.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I really do hate this comic strip.

Marmaduke is afraid of cats.

Wait, what the fuck?

Marmaduke is an asshole.