Marmaduke shits bones.

Marmaduke likes being a dog, due in part to his flexible schedule.

Marmaduke has committed unspecified mischiefs against his owner-lady and is hiding from her in an ineffectual manner.

Marmaduke is being held in his backyard against his will. Rather than destroying something or threatening physical violence to get his way, he writes a distress signal in the snow in an attempt to communicate with passing aircraft, birds, or Google Earth.

Marmaduke is stoic.

End O' The Year

Today is Christmas. I got some shirts and a trumpet... Badass.

Marmaduke Explained is on hiatus or whatever until shortly after New Year's. First, here's a few things that bear mentioning.

- Thanks to everyone who ordered t-shirts. To everyone who has not ordered a t-shirt, you should order one. They're very neat, and probably give you all kinds of sex appeal. Extra special thanks much to Brian from tikitees.com for the manufacturing and the shipping and the general helping me out, and also my sister Kate for teaching me organization-type stuff and keeping track of things. Be cool and order a bunch of shirts, then allow two to four weeks for shipping.

- Apparently I am going to speak at a convention for internet people at Harvard next spring. Click here to read about stuff.

- There will probably be a couple of changes over the next couple of months. Long story short, my heart sorta hasn't really been in this lately (assuming it ever is, I mean), and I'm going to try and figure out a way to make this blog both better for you folks and more interesting for myself. I found this totally fun dancing baby .gif on my aunt's geocities page; hopefully that'll kick the excitement factor up a couple of notches.

- I am going to make a concerted effort to read everyone's comments over the next week. If you said any nasty things about my mother, you should go delete them now, because that would make me completely angry.

- If anyone's going to Oklahoma to see the Flaming Lips on New Year's Eve, say hi to me. I am going to be wearing a hat, unless I choose not to.

Marmaduke and a bunch of other dogs are Christmas caroling. A man and his wife prefer the dogs' caroling to the caroling of the other Christmas carolers they have seen.

Marmaduke is wearing a hat. He is asked whether the hat means his ears are cold or he is trying to make a fashion statement by his fat elderly neighbor (who is trying to make a fashion statement of his own).

Marmaduke, who has been eagerly anticipating Christmas for a good long while now, opens his front door to find not the bearded red coat-wearing man in a sleigh (Santa) he had been hoping for, but a spindly-limbed alien. Marmaduke runs his preconceived checklist of Santa characteristics by his owner-man, who confirms them. It is anyone's guess as to why the alien was knocking on their door, or why Marmaduke opened the door, or HOW Marmaduke opened the door, or how Marmaduke communicated "Are you sure Santa has a red coat, beard and a sleigh?" to his owner-man, but I wouldn't recommend thinking too hard about any of this.

Marmaduke appears to have been drawn by foot today.