Fuck fuck shit fuck goddamn shit fucking hell jesus fucking pissfuck shit christ asscrap shit fucky fuck motherfuck goddammit shitfucking fuck fuck.

Marmaduke and his owner-man hate hippies, and large dogs that look like hippies.

Marmaduke is about to eat yet another salesman.

Marmaduke adds an Oedipus complex to its litany of featured sexual perversions, which in this strip alone already include bestiality and, of course, frottaging.

Marmaduke is being arrested by two police officers, one of whom has to be reminded to give suspects their Miranda warning. Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson's refusal to settle on a single spelling of the exclamation "woof" begins to border on infuriating.

Marmaduke used to date a hot dog vender. It did not end well, and his difficulty letting go is bordering on illegal.

Marmaduke's fat, elderly neighbor-man offers a nonsensical and asinine aphorism regarding Marmaduke's inexplicably misspelled onomatopoeias. Marmaduke may or may not have his balls caught in a sprinklerhead.

Marmaduke prefers bludgeoning to most other forms of communication.

Marmaduke is going to drink two bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill wine and deflower a teenage Afghan Hound.

Marmaduke has returned to normal (read: not being funny or making a lot of sense) after yesterday's little scare. This installment seems to feature Owner-Man explaining a bank robbery escape plan to Marmaduke while checking under the beast's jowls for spare change.