Marmaduke's attempt to embody a cliche ended in injury, embarassment, and a dead bee.

Son of a bitch, he's right

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From:	Jason Quinn
To:	Joe Mathlete
Subject:	Marmaduke for April 19, 2007

Here's my thoughts on today's cartoon:

1) Sport parachutists no longer use round parachutes and have not for about thirty years
2) The military does use round parachutes, but their uniforms do not resemble jogging suits
3) Had the man landed in the tree, the canopy would have been caught in the branches above him
4) That cell phone is friggin' huge
5) Although it may not be that big since given the relative sizes of man and dog, the man is clearly a midget

Conclusion: Marmaduke has trapped a midget jogger up a tree. Having witnessed Marmaduke chase a military paratrooper up the tree and devour him only moments before, the jogger is using the last moments of his life to call his therapist on his vintage Motorola Dynatac cell phone.
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Well I'll be damned.

Marmaduke gleefully roams free throughout the streets, having long ago cowed the weak-willed employees of his city's corrupt and impotent Animal Control Center into cowardly, passive subservience.

Marmaduke is digging up the hobo he killed last autumn, which his owner-girl confuses with banking.

Sorry I only did that one post last week

But holy christ that shit made me angry.

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH OWNER-MAN'S TORSO.

I fully understand that nobody edits these things for clarity, or to make sure there's a joke in every strip, but shouldn't there be somebody to tell Brad Anderson (or whichever one of his stable of ghost-sketchers he paid ten dollars to draw this one) that he needs to FINISH DRAWING HIS FUCKING CARTOONS BEFORE THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE IN A NEWSPAPER.

Marmaduke was arrested for public intoxication. The original caption referenced this, but it was changed at the last minute since you're not allowed to talk about alcoholism in the funnies (except maybe in the recent, socially-relevant Funky Winkerbean strips, and possibly Luann if you tie it in with someone having their first period).

Marmaduke's neighbors notice that he installed a chimney in his doghouse, which allows them to finally figure out how cold their winter had been. Marmaduke also has a bucket, the significance of which eludes me.

Marmaduke is asleep on the floor, having binged until he passed out. His owner-man explains to a suit-wearing houseguest and his jowls that this is Marmaduke's version of photosynthesis.

Marmaduke is violently second-guessing the computer that navigates his owner-man's minivan.