Marmaduke's neighbors notice that he installed a chimney in his doghouse, which allows them to finally figure out how cold their winter had been. Marmaduke also has a bucket, the significance of which eludes me.

Marmaduke is asleep on the floor, having binged until he passed out. His owner-man explains to a suit-wearing houseguest and his jowls that this is Marmaduke's version of photosynthesis.

Marmaduke is violently second-guessing the computer that navigates his owner-man's minivan.

Marmaduke wants to run on the walking trail, and to hell with the sign.

T-SHIRTS SOLD OUT

I had no idea that'd happen. And I didn't even get sued (yet). As of today, all shirts have been mailed out save for the ones folks have ordered in the last several days; those will be on their way sooner than sooner. A second printing is not out of the question, but I'm starting my required Imaginary Dental School Community service outreach mission trip next week (I'm doing discounted fillings for underprivileged car salesmen in suburban Orlando), so it might be awhile until I have enough time to start another for-profit venture like that.

A couple of notes:

1. If you pre-ordered a shirt and it arrived without your pre-order index card artwork, fear
not: I decided to mail those that I haven't yet completed separately, rather than wait to mail out the shirts until I finished drawing everything.
2. I'm sorry if you wrote to me regarding shirt ideas/requests and did not receive a response; capitalism just kind of overwhelmed me for awhile. If I do make more shirts in the future, I promise I will consider designs without cusses (so you can wear them to school, church, grandma's house, or all of the above), shirts in colors besides black (in case you're not goth), girl-style shirts (for ladies, or lady-shaped guys), and toddler-sized shirts (dunno how cost-effective this would be, but Jesus Christ I love the idea of a baby wearing a shirt with the word "ASSHOLE" on it).
3. If you're the guy from Australia who ordered a shirt, then emailed me asking how much extra postage you needed to send me, it's $4.15. Your email keeps bouncing. Also, that's $4.15 in American currency (unless Australian money is worth more, in which case... aw, fuck, I should've googled that first).

Marmaduke is unable to improve the scent of his owner-lady's perfume.

Marmaduke threatens to bludgeon his owner-man with a skateboard unless he takes him on a walk.

Special Friday "Two-For" (don't freak out)

Marmaduke got a new cell phone, wants some maple syrup on his breakfast, and is an asshole.

Marmaduke is confronted by a large swarm of his illegitimate children while on a walk. His owner-man tries to help him save face in front of a couple of hat-wearing bystanders, painting him as an idolized superstar rather than the sex addict who refuses to pay child support he really is.

Marmaduke swallowed Sarah's wristwatch and he's sick to his stomach. Marmaduke's owner-girl makes a watch-related pun so asinine it takes at least three months off of my life every time I read it.

(side note-- I initially didn't notice the pun and thought Owner-Girl was actually saying "sick." Such is Marmaduke's patented brand of "phantom humor" that today's strip would have been no more or no less funny than any other had that been the case)