Marmaduke is pursuing a vacuum cleaner possessed of tremendous speed, independent mobility, and a power cord of apparently infinite length. Of these properties, a behatted onlooker finds only the former worth remarking upon.

SPECIAL THREE-PART INSTALLMENT:

I) Marmaduke stole Owner-Girl's jump rope (causation: Marmaduke is greedy and spiteful)

II) Marmaduke does not know how to properly operate a jump rope (causation: Marmaduke is a dog)

III) Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson refers to jump ropes as "skip ropes" (causation: Brad Anderson has not paid attention to current parlance since 1948)

Marmaduke is incapable of being passive-aggressive.

Marmaduke tries and fails to re-ignite the flame of passion in his relationship with his distant, careerist owner-man.

Marmaduke is a l33t h4x0r.

Marmaduke considers improving his golf game more important than his owner-lady's social life. Owner-Lady disagrees, but her request for Marmaduke to accommodate her and her friend proves futile.

Marmaduke's paradoxical facial expression fills his owners with a sense of dread.

Marmaduke likes to let the neighborhood kids use his indoor pool. It is possible that Marmaduke's doghouse defies the laws of physics and has a larger interior than exterior, or has a trap door that leads to a large underground cavern/living space, but most likely Marmaduke just has a teeny tiny pool and the neighborhood kids have low thresholds for entertainment.

Marmaduke lives in a world where you can telephone God via a special hotline.

Marmaduke has a really stupid addiction.