Marmaduke is going to murder a squirrel for disrespecting him, just as soon as he can figure out how to climb a tree.

Marmaduke wants to challange the dogcatcher to a duel.

Marmaduke stole a trophy, and also a tennis racket.

Marmaduke convinced his city council via threats, intimidation, and being humongous to honor him with his own street.

Marmaduke may or may not have just gotten a tattoo. This upsets his owner-couple, who consider themselves to be extremely straitlaced (despite the fact that they apparently enjoy dry-humping in front of tattoo parlors in broad daylight).

Marmaduke creator Brad Anderson, constantly burnt out after decades of having to think up (and/or regurgitate) jokes for his comic strip, is having another one of his increasingly frequent "fuck it, I'm just going to draw a bunch of dogs" days.

Marmaduke has been shopping on the Internet again.

Marmaduke has poisoned his owner-man's dinner.

Marmaduke's attempt to embody a cliche ended in injury, embarassment, and a dead bee.

Son of a bitch, he's right

--------------------------------------------------

From:	Jason Quinn
To:	Joe Mathlete
Subject:	Marmaduke for April 19, 2007

Here's my thoughts on today's cartoon:

1) Sport parachutists no longer use round parachutes and have not for about thirty years
2) The military does use round parachutes, but their uniforms do not resemble jogging suits
3) Had the man landed in the tree, the canopy would have been caught in the branches above him
4) That cell phone is friggin' huge
5) Although it may not be that big since given the relative sizes of man and dog, the man is clearly a midget

Conclusion: Marmaduke has trapped a midget jogger up a tree. Having witnessed Marmaduke chase a military paratrooper up the tree and devour him only moments before, the jogger is using the last moments of his life to call his therapist on his vintage Motorola Dynatac cell phone.
---------------------------------------------------
Well I'll be damned.